No, I'm sorry, unless you're a government, you don't get a LAW

I am a pretty easy going chick. Calm. Rational. It isn't easy to upset me. But the things that upset me make me REALLY angry.

And one thing that that really bothers me, even more than the fact that John McCain is seemingly incapable of writing with something other than what is essentially a marker, is MAN LAW.

Have you guys seen this, or heard of this? Ugh! Ish has gotten really into this lately. Like at Sunday Dinner, he let out this disgusting belch. And when my aunt yelled at him, he leaned back in his chair and said "A Burp is a Compliment to the Chef. MAN LAW." Shove it, Ish, unless you call it "unattractive pre-pubescent boy law", it doesn't really apply to you!

Anyway.

If MEN can have annoying LAWS in order to rationalize all their erratic, rude, selfish, disgusting behavior, then SO CAN I!

presenting

EARLENE LAW

1.  If you do not SPECIFICALLY CLAIM YOUR FOOD, by saying "This sandwich on my plate is mine, and I intend to eat it." then it is FAIR GAME for other people to eat. EARLENE LAW. 

2. If you are careless with your home address, and put it on facebook, then it is fair game to look up this address on google map and go to street view and memorize what your house looks like and imagine you in it. EARLENE LAW.

3. If you go to an All-You-Can-Eat Brunch Buffet, such as Souplantation or Country Town Home Cooking Buffet or something, you might as well stay as long as possible and get two meals out of it. EARLENE LAW.

4. If we have ANY facebook friends in common whatsoever, then we should probably be facebook friends. EARLENE LAW.

5. If a guy invites you to meet him at an appointed time to see a movie or eat dinner, it is a date. If you just "happen" to run into him at a movie or while he's eating dinner or at his work, it is still a date. EARLENE LAW.

Any other Earlene laws I should add?

Yours,

Early