Ok so the exciting thing is that I have a DATE in New York this weekend. A real life earnest to goodness BLIND DATE that one of my readers set me up with. Here is the email:
FROM: (redacted)
TO: earleney@gmail.com
Dear Earlene,
I love your blog and read it every day. Your musings on the debates were the best part of the 2008 election, and your Halloween costume was the funniest thing I've ever seen, (besides the part of the music video when you steal that guy's chip). You really deserve a boyfriend who can appreciate your uniqueness.
When I heard you were coming to New York I got really excited, because I have the PERFECT guy for you. His name is Carl, he is 23, and he just got out of a bad relationship (her only interests were complaining about immigrants and watching Gossip Girl). I'd LOVE to set something up for you two while you're here!
If you don't want to, no hard feelings. Just let me know.
All my Earlove,
(Redacted)
So I wrote back:
Dear (Redacted),
Does he have a pulse? Does he like mac'n'cheese? If the answer to one or more of these questions is yes, then I would love to meet him.
Best,
Early
AHHHHHHH I HAVE A REAL LIFE EXCITING ROMANTIC NEW YORK DATE!!!!
Guys, you don't UNDERSTAND. These things don't happen to Earlene Watts. I am so excited!
And now,
A haiku
Pictures on Facebook
Like deer on a game reserve
Are there to be stalked.
-E
No comments:
Post a Comment