A Conversation with my Mother

Mom enters my room, sans KNOCKING. I am on my bed, happily engrossed in my fourth Neopets Key Quest.

MOM: Early, what are you doing? It's 3:00 in the afternoon.

ME: *growls*

MOM: The sun is shining, the sky is blue, birds are chirping!

ME: *Growls louder.*

MOM: Why don't you call up some friends and take a walk or something?

ME: Because all of my FRIENDS live in Singapore and Bombay and Leipzig, and I am playing with them right now.

MOM: What do you mean you're playing with them? You're lying on your bed, doing nothing!

ME: I am PLAYING with them ONLINE, Mom! It's the 21st century!!! In fifty years, people won't ever need to be in the same room again!

MOM: Don't be ridiculous! What about that guy you went out with on Friday? Why don't you call him up?

ME: No.

MOM: What, you didn't like him? You're too picky, Earlene! That's why you don't have a boyfriend.

ME: Yes, that is exactly why I don't have a boyfriend, Mother. Because I'm too picky.

MOM: You're a beautiful girl, Earlene! You just have to leave your room once in a while.

ME: Technically, I have left my room! Technically, I am in Neopia right now! OKAY?

MOM: I give up.

Mom leaves room, slamming door behind her.

Parents just don't understand.