Since my move to the Big Apple is looming, I have started conditioning myself to life in New York in January.
Steps I Have Taken to Condition Myself to Life in New York in January
- Blast the air-conditioning in my room, turn on fans, and eat lots of popsicles to get used to the frigid temperatures.
Here I am, practicing being cold. Notice the winter coat.
- Practice using sarcasm, the universal language of New Yorkers. ......NOT!
- (No, really, I am. That was just me being sarcastic)
- Practice dressing like a hipster.
- Yeah, I look soooooo bad in hipster clothing.*
*sarcasm
- Practice ordering Indian Takeout at 1 am. Except there isn't any Indian Takeout where I live, so I just drive to El Pollo Loco.
- Practice being really condescending whenever someone mentions they like Sex and the City, or Times Square.
(example: MOM: Early! Sex and the City is on! It's the episode where Miranda dates the--
EARLENE: Wow, Mom, it's like, not 1999 anymore.)
So far, all my practice is going really, really, badly.*
*sarcasm.
What do you guys think? Am I missing anything crucial?
Sarcastically*,
Earlene
*sarcasm. or like, backwards sarcasm, or something.
1 comment:
Earlene -
Here are some other important skills to master before moving to New York:
Identifying public transportation and learning how to use it (particularly challenging if you live in LA. A good exercise would be to find a metro station and try to get to LAX.)
Hailing a cab (this is where signature style is important).
Identifying safe street meat.
good luck!
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