Essential Lies

Some of you expressed interest in the fact that I lie when I fill out forms at the doctor's office about smoking and drinking.

I am a very honest person, for the most part. But I know that lying is an important part of a modern girl's life. Here is a list of things it is important to lie about.

A LIST OF THINGS IT IS IMPORTANT TO LIE ABOUT

• Your resume. You guys all remember my resume, right? Beach clean-up volunteer was about my only leadership position, and unsurprisingly I got very few responses to my cover letters. The Solution? I made up a company (THE EWI GROUP, LTD) and a position (PROJECT MANAGER). The important thing for this to work is to constantly remain vague. "EWI Group, Ltd is a medium sized business with high profile clients and a commitment to increasing portfolios and profits while still being cutting edge." "As Project Manager, I oversaw a variety of projects from concept to fruition, maintaining constant contact with clients while ensuring the execution of EWI Group, Ltd's business objectives on a daily basis." What does that mean? No one will ever ask you.

• Also, in a job interview, the answer is always "YES". Are you willing to start immediately? YES. Do you have a work visa? YES. Are you willing to work overtime if necessary? YES. Describe a time when you had to take on a leadership role. YES.
  

• When talking to a boy you are interested in, and he asks you, albeit casually, how many guys you've dated, the answer is ALWAYS either three more or three fewer than the truth, depending on your number, and whether you need a little extra padding, or a little airbrushing. (In my case, I add five.)
  

• When someone asks you "Have you had lunch?" the answer is always Not Yet!

• When you get your hair cut, you should always try to bite your lip and cry at the end, even if you like it. They will usually give you 15% off.

NEW YORK THIS WEEKEND, GUYS! Cross your fingers for me. Also, I now have SIX FOLLOWERS, so i am only TEN away from my goal! Woo!

Also.....I really hope I don't run into Carl and or +/ Tressica when I walk by his apartment a few times to see if he's home in New York....

Honestly,

Early