Flirt Bowl XLIII

Congratulations Tressica! You are a double loser for today!

Starting off, I know for a fact that Tressica's step-father's first wife's brother's daughter-in-law has a cousin who lives in Tuscon, Arizona. And apparently the Tuscon Cardinals beefed it hard today during the Super Bowl.

But guess who else was bringing the beef? Tony at McDonald's.

My mom dragged me out to the Container Store today because she has to buy some new Tupperware after the "nacho incident of last Tuesday" as she keeps referring to it. But not wanting to be around large capacities of plastic and finding the Geo's ashtray full of loose change, I ventured over to the Golden Arches on the horizon of the mall's parking lot.

I walked in and who should greet me from behind the counter, but Tony. His name tag twinkled with grease in the late afternoon sun. Tony is a man who knows how to dress, making a tie and visor the sexiest fashion statement this winter. On top of that, he puts a woman's needs first:

TONY: Hi! Welcome to McDonald's. How can I serve you?
ME: (speechless) ...uhhhh....uhhhh....uhhhh....
TONY: Uh, hi? How can I serve you, miss?
ME: ....uhhhh....uhhhh....one....
TONY: The number one?
ME: ...mmmmmhhhmmm....
TONY: Can I super-size those fries for you?
ME: UUUUUH-HUUUUUH...
TONY: You want the drink super-sized too?
ME: Ooooooooo....
TONY: Got it. Your number one...(long pause)...will be out in a moment.

Then a wink.

Carl never winked at me. Carl never "super-sized" anything for me. Carl never called me number one, though I so am. And guess what Tressica? He's never going to say those kind of things to you either. Bradney is definitely the man for me at this point in my life, but who said there is anything wrong with a little flirtation? In one savy minute Tony made me swoon more than in an entire restless night of stalking both Carl and Bradney on Second Life.

Tony probably planned to give me my order on the house, but then some gross Pizza Face Girl came up to him with my bag of food, glared at me, and left. I got the hint. He's taken by Pizza Face Girl, but looking to get out, maybe expand into an open relationship. Though I never thought I'd pay for the attention of a man, I found myself handing out $4.39, plus tip, and speed-walked back to my mom's Geo.

I'm not a home wrecker, as you guys know, but if Tony ever wants a date, he know's what number to call...out loud...in the middle of those lonely, lonely nights with Pizza Face...."Number One".

So Tressica, who are the champions? Me, that's who.

Touchdown,

Earlene