Also, something very exciting happened this afternoon: I, Earlene Watts, was chosen to sit IN AN EXIT ROW! This, of course, was a huge honor, and totally unexpected. I was just sitting at the gate, enjoying my pre-flight ritual of a Cinnabon and McDonalds French Fries (call me superstitious, but my plane hasn't crashed YET!) when the gate boarder person called me up to the desk.
Gate Boarder Person: Ms.Watts?
ME: Present!
Gate Boarder Person: We're moving you into an exit row. Are you willing and able to help out in case of an emergency?
ME: (tearing up a little) I will pledge my life to this ship!
Gate Boarder Person: Plane.
ME: I won't let you down!
Gate Boarder Person: Great. You can go back to your seat now.
I went back to my seat and I called my mom to tell her the good news. I felt proud, but also nervous: Sitting in the exit row is a lot of responsibility. 200 innocent lives were in MY hands, and it was MY duty to see that they were all safe.
Once aboard the plane, I immediately tested the exit doors to make sure they were locked. I even threw myself against them a few times, just to make sure they wouldn't open accidentally in mid air. After I securely fastened my seatbelt, I turned to my neighbor, a swarthy man in a business suit, and checked to make sure that his seatbelt was properly fastened as well.
I paid rapt attention during the safety demonstration, and when I saw that a woman was reading the newspaper instead of listening, I gently but firmly reminded her to pay attention to the flight attendant.
I always get a little nervous when planes take off, but as Exit Row Monitor, it is my job to put on a brave face and keep the cabin calm, so as soon as the plane started to take off, I yelled out so that everyone could hear me: "EVERYONE STAY CALM! THIS IS NORMAL PLANE MOVEMENT! WE ARE JUST TAKING OFF! SO FAR THERE ARE NO SIGNS OF CRASHING INTO THE PACIFIC OCEAN!"
As soon as we reached crusing altitude, I put my seatback tray down, and started making flashcards of the emergency exit information in the Safety Pamphlet. Normally a plane just lulls me to sleep, but I continuously ordered cokes to prevent that from happening. Diligence is the key to safety!
I decided it would be a good idea to introduce myself to the Captain....after all, if there was an emergency, he and I would be called upon to work together to save the crew and passengers. Unfortunately, his door was locked, and about six flight attendants hurried over and made me sit down before I was able to meet him.
After our we began our initial descent into JFK, I walked up and down the aisles checking people's seatbelts, and remind them not to help babies and old people in case the oxygen masks came down.
I was so proud of myself for being so brave for most of the trip, but as it came time to land, I lost some of my courage, and screamed out "WE'RE GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" as we touched down. Luckily, the swarthy man beside me was kind enough to let me grip his arm.
When we arrived at the gate, I went around the plane and shook hands with all the crew members, thanking them for a safe flight.
Tomorrow, during my job interview, I think I should add 'Exit Row Experience" to my resume.
Courageously,
Earlene Watts
2 comments:
Break a leg, lady.
Make sure the person interviewing you will remember you as funny and responsible.
But don't go overboard with the funny. They're a little more subtle about humor in NYC.
aaahahah omg Early, I've never wanted to take on such a huge responsibility, but am proud to hear of your successful journey across the country. good luck!!
Post a Comment