Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Yeah, I don't have a boyfriend....SO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Omg you guys, I am soooooooo much happier now that I am not dating Carl. Like, seriously, my ashram made me realize that I am like, WAY better off without him.

 Do you know how much free time I have now that I don't have to spend 24 hours a day in my room waiting for him to come online?

Do you know how tired I was of watching "Full House" i.e. The Only Show That Carl Thought Was Morally Sound Enough To Watch On Television? (And even then, he advised me to change the channel during some of the more suggestive D.J./Steve scenes...)

Do you know how EXHAUSTING it is advertising on craigslist and taking pictures of yourself around town so that your weirdly suspicious boyfriend thinks you have FRIENDS?

Do you know how many fewer PAPERCUTS I have now that I'm not constantly making COLLAGES and INSPIRATION BOARDS for a future wedding??

Do you know how ANNOYING it was to have to don a TURTLENECK and a MASK everytime we video chatted, because Carl didn't want any DISTRACTIONS?

So. Totally. Better. Off.

And, in Completely Unrelated News, Here is a list of  people who probably shouldn't have boyfriends/girlfriends, but still do:

1. Kelly Osbourne
2. Donatella Versace
3. The Half-Ton Man
4. Carrot Top
5. My Grandma

Single And Fabulous,

Earlene Watts

1 comment:

TS said...

I'm sure you will find lots of great guys in New York. And now you can make the most of that post-Olive Garden enrapturement:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/08/nyregion/08marriage.html?scp=1&sq=marriage%20bureau&st=cse